Self Care For Parents: How Me-Time Benefits You and Your Loved Ones

I was meant to write this yesterday. You know how it goes. You have all the best intentions, and then ‘life’ gets in the way.

Becoming a māmā has impressed upon me this constant juggling act that is now my new normal. 

While I thought I was juggling a lot pre-kids, it really was all quite manageable on 7-8 hours of sleep, which now seems a distant memory and a definite luxury.

And the fact that you parents out there have ‘mastered’ (to some degree or other) this way of being has me in absolute awe, with also a huge amount of respect for those with more than one.

I now have a deeper understanding of all your aches, pains and chronic tension following the last 5 months of my life with a newborn. I too, share these.

It definitely takes something to bring new life into this world, and to continue to give them your love and attention day in day out as well as put bread on the table. 

And when you are doing it solo, or both of you are working full time, I can imagine at times you feel close to breaking point.

And even when they have grown up and flown the coop, they can still give you grief, which explains all those persistent knots in some of you lots’ shoulders.

Having said all of that, having a child is the best thing I’ve ever done, and I’m sure many of you feel the same way.

Our darling 5 month old has brought so much joy into our lives and has restored a kind of child-like wonder as we spend hours gazing at leaves or playing with water.

When I truly go with the flow and accept his schedule, I am swept into this deliciously mindful present moment awareness and time seems to stop (and hours pass) as we coo and giggle together over nothing. It is pure bliss.

But when I get too stuck in my agenda and am insistent that things need to go how they look in my brain, we get out of sync. I get stressed, he gets upset that I’m not super present with him, and everything feels like a battle.

This had been happening more than I’d liked to admit lately, and I knew I needed to interrupt the pattern when I laid down to rest at the end of the day and could feel my whole body buzzing with anxious energy.

A friend challenged me to put myself first and treat myself, and I’m amazed at how many excuses I came up with! I was so stuck in my head, filled up with plans, to do lists, responsibilities, expectations and frustrations. Sound familiar?

So on Sunday I made a request of my partner for a couple of hours ‘off duty’ to go to the pools. 

He virtually pushed me out the door.

There is something about water that magically dissolves stress.

Between the steam room, the sauna and the pool, all of my neurotic energy washed off of me and I was once again returned to my naturally grounded, present state.

I returned home a different person. 

I was able to laugh again with my son and partner, and go with the flow of the day, interruptions and all. I was filled to the brim with love for life, and I felt like myself again.

Self care is never selfish!

This is my literal mantra, and it’s only become more poignant since becoming a māmā.

When you take some time away from all of your responsibilities to reconnect with yourself, you are reminded of who you are on a soul level.

Beyond your occupation, your financial status, being a mum or dad, nan or pops, or your role in the community.

It could be a windy walk on a beach or in the bush, a swim in the sea or pool, a long drive where you sing to yourself, or a blissful massage.

When you get to reconnect with your true self, the noisy din quietens, your vision sharpens, your mind feels more peaceful and you remember what brings you joy.

It is out of this state of being that you can be fully present and connected with your most important people. You can give them the gift of quality time, which is the most precious commodity these days.

So go on, carve out some ‘me time’ and your whānau will thank you for it : )